Archive of Bfine107’s Xanga

So, I was reading Xanga entries and was doing my commenting thing whenrnI ran across Rachel’s: what makes someone a Christian?  And I wasrnlike, “Woah.”  I can’t just answer that in a short flow of thoughtrncomment.  So I settled for not answering the question but ratherrnmaking a side comment.
rnThen today I was reading Blue Like Jazz and it suddenly struck me why Irnhesitated.  It didn’t really have anything to do with the pointrnhe’s making in the book, just one random line about feeling sillyrntrying to explain faith in God.  I think the reason I hesitate isrnfor fear of missing something.  Maybe it was Wheaton’s affect onrnmy thinking or something, but I think I hesitated cause I’m afraid Irnmight have the wrong answer.  It’s funny you know, worried aboutrnnot knowing the right answer when it comes to what makes me arnChristian.  Isn’t my eternal salvation riding on that question? IfrnI miss a point or two in my answer does that mean I’m not really one?rnDoes incorrect theology mean a couple points off on my entry intornheaven quiz? Or is it an all or nothing sort of test?  That’s somernscary stuff.

rnAnd I realize that’s a bunch of Balogni (how the heck do you spell thatrnword?).  My faith is where I am right now.  It’s not just anrnintellectual thing, it’s not a test I have to study or cram for. rnIt makes me think about Fredrick Buechner’s book, A to Z or somethingrnlike that.  He writes his thoughts on bunches of topics, one beingrninfant baptism.  And he writes that who are we to answerrnconclusively what sort of spiritual relationship or depth a babyrnhas.  The point being that even though an infant might not be ablernto comprehend intellectually the theology of salvation and God, thatrndoesn’t mean that don’t experience it.  Didn’t Christ tell us tornbecome like Children?  So why the heck am I so worried aboutrnsaying the right thing on a xanga comment?  
rnMaybe it’s because I’m worried someone who is not a Christian might seernit and if I’ve explained it wrong that might never be truelyrnsaved.  In Romans we are told that folks can’t be saved unlessrnsomeone explains it to them.  And in Acts we hear about folks whornwere only baptized in John’s baptism and thought they had the wholernpackage.  And what about all through the epistles those judeizer’srnsaying christian’s had to be circumcised.  All those sorts ofrnstories seem to scare you into thinking you’ve got to have all therndetails right otherwise you and a whole bunch of folks are going tornhell.  
rnBut then I think about the thief on the cross, and how he gotrnsaved.  But after Jesus leaves the earth salvation seems to getrnmore complicated.  I wish we had a little more explanation. rnWe evangelical’s got it narrowed down to a short little prayer, yournbasically have to pray that you believe in Jesus and that he saved yournfrom your sins, dah, dah, your a Christian!
rnThen I wonder about Jesus’ talk about the sheep and the goats.  Wernare adament against a works based salvation, but that seems about asrnwork’s based as you can get. At least compared to what the evangelicalrnworld seems to say.  I mean if that’s what Christ says isrnsalvation shouldn’t we take a little more heed to it?  Whateverrnyou do to the least of these brother’s you have done to me.  Ifrnyou ask me what it mean’s to be a Christian I’d definitly acknowledgernthat believing in Christ and his atonement for our sins is an intricalrnpart.  But I can’t neglect the fact that Christ says there isrnsomething about our actions that plays a role in it as well.  

rnThat’s all I got.

So Mindy and I are gonna start a fitness plan.  Nothing specialrnjust an attempt to be more in control of our eating.  At church onrnSunday the speaker made reference to having no self control.  Hernsaid, “I might look like I’m a responsible, righteous man, but put mernin front of a buffet line and you will witness shock and awe.” It was arnfunny comment but it left me thinking about the fact that eating is onernof those areas, like wealth, that we in the States just don’t have muchrncontrol over.  Do you realize that we spend more on reducingrncaloric intake (in other words, dieting plans), then it would cost tornend world hunger (it’s from Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Irnforget the exact numbers).  So, my goal is to not be a hypocriternwhen I speak about social justice, and not hoard any more then my sharernof the world’s calories.
rnThat and I’m supposed to keep my weight steady for fear my liver might act up again, that would suck. 

rnNow the rest of the news is we are still chilling with family, I’mrnstill throwing resumes out there, and we are still looking forrnhousing.  And my new goal is to write like 5-10 pages a day. rnSort of just anything just to get my writing bug going.  I want tornbe able to write freely when I have something to write about. rnWe’ll see what happens.

Wow, great questions everyone, fraid I don’t have enough wisdom tornshare with you all.  But, I will try, just not right thisrnsecond. 

rnI filled my time today trying to be a “web designer” and make a siternfor Chris and Rebecca’s wedding.  Unfortunately I’m not quite thernweb designer I wished I was.  I spent most of the day putzingrnaround trying to get something that would work good.  The problemrnis I only know how to find cool things and tweak them a bit.  I’mrnreally not good at starting from scratch or anything like that, but I’mrnlearning. 

rnSo almost a whole day goes by and I’ve got almost nothing to show forrnit.  At least tonight we get to bash down a big wall, hopefullyrnwe’ll take pictures, it won’t be too exciting though, we have to do itrn”nicely.”

Okay, so maybe this really works, and this is why I was curious:
rnI want to write a book.  But if you don’t know me I suck atrnwriting unless I have a bit of interaction; I write like I’m respondingrnto what people are saying in a conversation.  That being said, Irnneed some people to ask questions that I can respond to to get mernwriting.  I’m making them up on my own, but it would be good tornhave people ask questions. 
rnThis is the basic jist (is that how you spell that word? That’s a coolrnword to write):  I want to write a book suggesting how I think wernas Christians should be living our lives, particularly once yourngraduate college, and particularly if your staying in the states andrnjoining the “work force.”  So maybe pretend you actually wanted tornask me advice about life as your about to graduate.  Questions canrnbe from super practical like: should I buy a cellphone (I probablyrnwon’t answer that one though) to what scriptures support this new wayrnof living (but more specific).  Aight, thanks you guys.

So I think I hesitate to write new entries before people have commentedrnon the old ones cause I don’t want anyone to miss anything.  Irnmean if I write an entry a day most will go unseen by my friends who Irnwant very much to read them. I mean this whole blogging thing: Is itrnabout Me or You?  Is it about me being able to express myself tornthe world? Or is it about You being able to read and have access to thernwritten thoughts and words of millions?  I think I like both sidesrnof it.  And already I feel like I’ve written too much for anyonernto really read through the whole thing.
rnI mean honestly, I don’t think I really bear my soul on here, it’s morernlike a venue to diseminate information to others, close friends and therngreater world.  Maybe I should share more of my deep feelings.

Thought most of you who visit my Xanga would be interested in this, I got a letter from MEERA TODAY!!!!

rnHere it is:

rnPatiala Punjab
rnINDIA

rnDear Sponsor,

rnGreetings to you in the sweet name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

rnI extend my thanks to you for your valuable prayers for my ministry.rnPlease continue to remember me in your daily prayers. May the Lordrnbless you abundantly.

rnThe political situation of this district is not favorable for thernGospel work. Almost all teh political leaders of this district arernHindus. Therefore, many a time, the authorities are against the Gospelrnwork we do here. Please pray for the Lord’s intervention, that therernmay be a change in the lives of the political leaders.

rnTo bring the light into the darkened lives of the people here, Irninvolve in tract-distribution, house visitation, Sunday schoolrnministry, film ministry and personal evangelism.

rnGospel literature pieces have been the most effective tools in ourrnministry during the past months. Please pray that the Lord may continuernto use these tools in winning the lost souls.

rnTwo persons received Jesus Christ as their personal Savior through myrnministry in the past months. Please pray that they may stand firm inrntheir commitment to live for Jesus.

rnAfter my graduation, my desire is to involve in church planting. Pray that the Lord may open a way for it.

rnPray for the Lord’s guidance and presence upon my future ministry.

rnPray that the Lord may heal my father, as he has been sick for many days.

rnPray for the spiritual growth of my family members.

rnPray for the unreached areas of this district to be evangelized.

rnIn Christ,

rnMeera.

Goodbye Wheaton!  Mindy and I just left today from our apartmentrnin Wheaton.  Said some goodbyes (we’ll see everyone in June at Melrnand Joel’s wedding so we are all in denial about actually sayingrngoodbye).  I’m working on a little online community for all of us,rnso be patient and look forward to it. 

rnNow for some fun.  I’m done with Required reading for school!!!!rnWhich means I need another book list to begin.  I have a huge listrnbut I don’t know how to prioritize so I want to hear everyone’s top tenrnbooks.  And how about movies also.  And I’d like some ideasrnfor my post-graduation To Do List.  Help me out!

rn1. Top Ten books
rn2. Top Ten movies
rn3. Item for my To Do List

I’ll pay $20 for a ticket.  Please!

rnLot’s of stuff to give away:

rn2 two drawer filing cabinets
rnlot’s of books (look at the older xanga entry)
rnfloppy disk, stuffed animals, stackable paper trays, study pillow, and more.
rneasels

rnCome by and get whatever you want, and be quick otherwise we are giving it away.

A brief update: probably flunked my Planetary Astronomy exam (not arnWheaton flunked, an actual F) but no worries I’m sure I’ll pass thernclass. Two finals tomorrow: Eat at India Palace with my classmates forrnContextualization (Gotta love grad classes), and reminisce about thernsemester with my Psych class in my profs backyard (gotta love psychrnclasses).  Still waiting to hear about a second interview for thernschool job, my prospects feel bleak.  Needing to apply for otherrnjobs.  Helping someone move tomorrow, senior party, enjoy Friday,rnfamily in town Saturday, graduation brunch at my place Sunday,rngraduation at 3pm, party at 9pm, camping monday, moving Tuesday…

rnMindy (my lovely, amazing stupendous, and chemistry genius wife) and Irnhad dinner at our friend Esther’s house. She made us a Liberian dinnerrnand we played some games.  She is a wonderful lady and wernoccassionaly gave her rides to COD for ESL classes, if anyone is gonnarnbe in the Wheaton area next year and wants to lend Esther a ride whenrnshe needs it I’d love to pass her phone number on.

rnEsther lives in Crestview apartments, and had I been more intentionalrnabout our place of living we would have lived there too.  There isrnsomething wonderful about Crestview.  Maybe it’s the kids alwaysrnplaying outside, even at 9pm when I left there.  Maybe it’s thernopen doors, people sitting outside on chairs, the diversity ofrnpeople.  It’s the best example of community I’ve seen in Wheaton,rnand it’s just across the street from my “suburban” apartment. rnLord, forgive me for not being intentional about where I live. rnLord, I pray you would give me the courage and the wisdom to bernintentional about where I live in Nashville.  Father, please guidernMindy and I to the community you would have us be a part of next year.

rnAnd to all you who are staying in Wheaton next year, if I could suggestrna place to live I would absolutely say, hands down, whatever it takes,rnmove into an apartment at Crestview.  I can think of no betterrnplace to live in Wheaton.  If it’s more expensive, livernthere.  that’s my opinion.

I can count the days I’ll be in Wheaton on my two hands. Scary, sad,rnhappy, ready, and many other words could describe it. 

rnThis has been an unsuccessful place to give stuff away, but I will noternhere that if people want to know some secrets to getting free stuff,rnparticularly for outfiting apartments and what not next fall, justrnask. 

rnAs for life, I’m still waiting to hear about this school administrationrnjob.  It’d be a God send if I got it, it seems perfect. 

rnI’m still interested in the Wheaton community, shaping it, developingrnit, providing opportunities for it.  Community, what does it lookrnlike, what’s it gonna look like?